


oh, what a wedding it was

by avocadophobic



Category: Epithet Erased
Genre: F/M, Gen, Wedding, family au, im so sorrry, indus has a wedding dress too, oh man there’s a lot of chars, sylvie is awkward, why did i do this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 21:34:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21875701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avocadophobic/pseuds/avocadophobic
Summary: Indus was excited for their wedding, Mera, not as much.
Relationships: Crusher (Epithet Erased)/Giovanni Potage, Giovanni Potage & Molly Blyndeff, Mera Salamin/Indus Tarbella, Sylvester "Sylvie" Ashling & Molly Blyndeff, Zora Salazar/Percival King
Comments: 14
Kudos: 98





	oh, what a wedding it was

“Indus. When I told you to get rid of the extra letters, I didn’t mean THIS.” Mera’s irritated voice was heard in a hushed whisper, as her wonderful fiancé Indus stood next to her. 

“But Lady Mera! You had forgot to invite a few people, did I not help?” He put a finger to his chin, crouching down so he was somewhat up to Mera’s height.

As the soon to be wed couple had their conversation, a multitude of notable people began spilling into the beach the wedding was held at — Indus had insisted that it was somewhere with sand. 

Percy had led her wife and children into the beach, Giovanni was wearing an entire suit of armor with a red cape, Molly was wearing a dress that looked pretty cozy, and Sylvie and Zora has made pretty much no effort to change their outfit.

“Heh, lil’ kid, les’ go take ‘the food from there.” Zora lightly elbowed her shortest son in the side, winking at him like the radical mother she was. Sylvie raised his eyebrow at her. “I’m NOT a kid, thank you very much, mOM. And anyways, I’m not hungry.” He turned around and walked off to sit at a table at the far corner of the area.

Percy looked around to check on everyone. Zora was at the food area, probably stealing a chicken leg, Molly was standing next to Giovanni, and- dammit, Zora. She pat her sword (of course she wore it with her tuxedo) before walking over to Zora and taking off her hat. 

“Zora, not now. We’re at a wedding, we must act proper.” Percy chided.

“I wan’ chicken wings.” Her taller wife whined, which made Percy facepalm, before grabbing Zora’s arm and dragging her off.

“Aaand, your minion comrades should be arriving anytime now!” Giovanni spoke to Molly in his usual booming and confident voice.

“Really? That’s cool.” Molly smiled. “I bet they’ll enter dramatically like always.” She giggled a bit. Oh, memories.

“HUZZAAAAAAAAAH!” 

A ton of Bonzai Blasters ran in, before striking a pose. It was like an entire cheerleading regimen.

“Thanks for choreographing, Flamethrower! Your cheerleading skills are amazing.”

“NIGHTSTAR. Stop talking about that. In public!”

“But you are pretty good a-“

“SHUT UP BEN.”

Sylvie rolled his eyes in the back, fishing around his jacket’s pocket before taking out his phone.

Giovanni and Molly had walked over to talk with some of the familiar Bonzai Blaster faces, and then walked in the last guest.

Ramsey showed up in a blinged out black tuxedo, wearing a plethora of golden jewelry. He had the same signature grin on his face, waving to Percy and Zora then walking off towards the back.

“Sylllves. How’s my favorite nephew doing? And how much money ya’ got?? Heh, no need to answer that.” Ramsey chuckled at his own words.

“Ok boomer.” Sylvie muttered.

“Are you even listening?”

Mera was SEETHING with rage. She was angered to the point where she might be boiling. “Indus. Please don’t tell me these are all the people you invited.”

“Do not be afraid Lady Mera! There is plenty more coming.” Indus put his hands on his hips. “Mr. Drowsy’s many sheep bodyguards are left!”

“INDUS. THOSE AREN’T EVEN PEOPLE.” Mera snapped, kicking Indus’s chest. It didn’t really hurt him, of course.

“That is rude to sheep, Lady Mera!” Indus beamed. Gah, Mera couldn’t say no to that smile. “Yeah, okay. Fine. LISTEN UP HERE, LAMBCHOP!” Mera pointed at Sylvie, who flinched upon being noticed by her of all people. 

“I WANT THOSE SHEEP OUT, FURRY!” She shouted at him. “Jeez, woman.” Ramsey put a hand on Sylvie’s shoulder. “Come on, kiddo.”

“That is literally worse.” Sylvie sighed. “Counting Sheep.” The familiar orange and yellow sheep were summoned with a symphony of ‘BAAAAAAS’, now trotting around the place.

“Yay!” Indus cheered. Mera hugged onto him ‘reluctantly’, feeling the expensive silk of his dress.

Yeah, Indus and Mera were wearing matching wedding dresses.

Got a problem with it?

“Alright! We will now call the flower girl Molly!”

Usual wedding stuff, blah blah blah, OP has never been to one. Molly held the flower basket, throwing petals as Mera came up.

Percy’s cop friend Meryl sat in the back, playing ‘Here Comes The Bride’, but after a quick exchange with Ramsey, Giovanni suddenly jumped her, replacing her with his own electric guitar cover of ‘Imperial March’. 

Mera was quite frustrated, but continued her walk. Once she went up to Indus, everyone froze.

“We. . . don’t have a judge, don’t we?” Percy mumbled.

“That’s it!” Sylvie jumped on top of a table so everyone could see him. “I declare MYSELF the judge, since you’re all obviously too idiotic to plan a wedding properly!” He jumped down, heading over to the judge’s stand. Meryl threw him her chair so he could use it as a stool.

It was an appreciated gesture and all, but kind of insulting. As Sylvie stood up, he looked around the entire crowd, sweating bullets. “Y-You-“ He didn’t realize there were so many people there. “Y-Y-Y-“

Sylvie fell back, passing out of pure exhaustion and fear.

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Beefton roared, rising up. “YOU MAY EXCHANGE VOWS!” He slammed his fists into the stand. He didn’t even need a microphone.

Everyone was clapping. Mainly for Beefton’s part. He really stole the show. . .

Blah blah blah, usual mushy garbage. Let’s skip over that!

“YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE!” The doctor declared, and everyone cheered as Mera stood up tall to place a quick and hasty kiss to Indus’s lips. 

Cheers. Laughs. Claps.

And Zora in the back.

“Where’s ‘the beer kept’?” 

“ZORA!” Percy scolded. “You’re setting a bad example for the kids!”

“Wooohooo! This woman knows how to PAAARTY! Can I drink?” Giovanni, with a hand around Crusher’s shoulder, called out to his mothers

“NO. You’re much under the legal age for alcohol. And we cannot drink, Zora. I am NOT driving you home with a straitjacket on.” 

“Dammit, mom. You’re even more of a buzzkill. C’mon, Crusher. . . lez’ go somewhere else.” Giovanni led the Bonzai Blaster to a different part of the wedding venue.

Molly smiled, shining her phone flashlight in Beefton’s eyes so Sylvie could wake back up. “I’d say this has been a success so far!”

“You think?” Sylvie mumbled, getting up and rubbing his head. 

“We just have to survive the after party.” Molly giggled.

“THERE’S MORE?!”

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to season 2 of blame epithet erased discord
> 
> i haven’t been to a wedding so this is based off videos and shit. i’m stupid


End file.
